Its funny how just a year ago I remember seeing a picture of a friend on mine that I hadn't seen in 3-4 years. I was in shock because she looked twice her size since I'd last seen her. She'd been in a serious relationship and gotten married to the guy which seemed to me was the reason for this massive weight gain. I couldn't understand :-\ How could someone let themselves go that much? How could a person that was thin as a stick become a full branch and seem totally unaware of it? It was beyond my comprehension how a sexy, stylish, single girl had turned into a married, auntie-like figure in the span of a few years.
I remember this incident so clearly because in life I have 2 fears: the fear of aging and the fear of getting fat. I spoke to everyone I knew and talked endlessly about this. It was afterall, my biggest fear and I never wanted to be that girl. I never wanted to settle down and become one of these women that just let their bodies go. I was smart and sophisticated ... a modern girl that doesn't place herself in the old mold. But just to be safe, I made everyone around me promise they would whack me into shape if I did indeed let myself go. All my friends laughed. The fattest I had ever been was not fat at all so no one really thought I'd ever be "fat". So they reassured me that if the impossible was to occur, they would warn me and keep me in check.
Yesterday, after months of settling down and years of irregular workouts that seem to get less frequent each week, I finally got on the scale. It was more just as a joke because my boyfriend really wanted to see how much weight he'd lost (don't I wish I had that problem). STUNNED AND SHOCKED, I couldn't believe what I saw. I was officially 9 pounds overweight. YES, you heard me right, OVERWEIGHT. Me .. Ms. I-am-so-scared-of-aging-and-getting-fat-I-am-never-going-to-be-like-those-girls, I am officially, medically, legally, technically FAT. And it all came without warning. All those friends who'd promised to warn me and my loved ones who'd assured me they'd keep me in check, they were nowhere to be found.
Ok, so maybe I chose to overlook the signs. Like for the past year, when my size 2 jeans just wouldn't fit right and my size 0's started to rip a lil in areas they shouldn't have. Or those love handles that make all my tops a lil more snug than I'd like. Or those jackets that I have a hard time closing the buttons of. Or the way my arms just don't slide through my shirt sleeves anymore. Perhaps those are some signs I chose to ignore but no friend, not even my own blood ever warned me about this all along. My boyfriend was probably too scared to ever even mention it to me but no one else even said a word? NOT ONE WORD .... to warn me and bring me back to reality about how FAT I've gotten.
I cannot tell you how hard and harsh this realization has been. Of course, as I should, I will do my best to fix this situation but for those of you who haven't quite gotten there yet, I wanted to warn you.
WARNING: You may someday get fat so keep the measurements and weight in check ; )
--Bulbuli =)
