Monday, August 18, 2008

Why do they do it?

Its hard enough to make it through all that life brings your way. Whether its work or family, friends or money, body image or relationships, there are constant stress factors that you have to cope with in life. What would life really be without these anyway? If you are ambitious and intelligent, you thrive on these challenges and work hard to make a place for yourself in every possible way. You can handle pretty much anything life throws your way. You can make smart decisions without much trouble about everything except for the one factor that seems to be the weak nerve of every girl I know, MEN! You can excel at work, be the star among your friends, exceed your family's expectations but never succeed in your relationships. Why is it always so hard for some girls? Really, should it be? All relationships are hard work but none should be so challenging that it takes a toll on every other aspect of you life and brings you down overall. Every relationship should bring something new to light and be a positive addition in your life.

I have several friends who are attractive, intelligent and highly ambitious women. Cultured, charming and the complete package, they have everything to be proud of and lots to look forward to in life. The only thing they don't seem to have, is that perfect relationship with the loving, caring guy that they can take to the parents and hopefully settle down with someday soon. The more they struggle with this, the more desperate they tend to get in their need for "making it work". They try to go out of their way in accommodating the guy's needs, becoming who they think is the person their boyfriend would want them to be. Changing their personalities, friends, goals, sometimes their whole lives, in hopes that they would become the "one" for their significant others. What happens as a result is quite shocking to these girls. The guys find them overbearing, less appealing and more annoying by the day. The smothering suffocates the men and they tend to wanna run away. This in turn makes the girls chase harder after the men. As they see them slipping through their fingers, they want to hold on tighter to any shred of the dying relationship that they can. I suppose they feel like they can make the guys love them if the guys could just see how great these girls truly are. Does that ever work? Can you really make someone like you? Can you really change yourself to become what you think a guy might want in the perfect wife?

From what I've seen, this usually starts a bad cycle of makeups and breakups. The guy breaks up because he doesn't think she's the "one", the girl cries her way back into a makeup. If the girl does happen to walk away from the relationship, she is generally pulled back into it by the guy who would still like to be "friends" and the glimmer of hope in their own minds of seeing this relationship work. The guy realizes once again shortly thereafter that this girl is not the "one" and the cycle goes on. The worst part is the judgments of the people who see this from the outside and all they can see is the poor guy who is trying to do the right thing and the pathetic girl who keeps running after the "poor" guy who was only trying to prevent her from getting hurt. But how do you explain this to someone who is completely blinded by her love for the guy, who in person gets to hear how much the guy really loves her but just needs "time", who gives into her emotional side for all the time that was invested in this one guy?

They get treated like crap, never get acknowledged in public, lose all self respect and are constantly struggling with finding their place in a relationship then why, why do girls still stay in them?