Vision Board

This year has turned out to be a crazy one for me.  So much has already happened and so much more is yet to come.  It's amazing to think half of the year is almost over and in a few months we'll be near the end.

I had heard of the whole "Vision Board" idea from Oprah many years ago but a friend of mine recently reminded me of it.  After thinking about it for years, I finally created one, a vision board of my own.  I had 4 things on my vision board, 2 of them have already become reality and the other 2 will hopefully be checked off soon.  It is truly amazing what you can accomplish if you just set your mind to it. I'm SOLD on the whole Vision Board idea. I always found it intriguing but I gotta say, after trying it myself, I am amazed at what positive thinking and strong will can do.

Everyone must create one!!!!!

Oh what a life

Life is ever changing, constantly evolving, continuously surprising and seldom what you expect it to be. A friend recently told me he had learned that in order to be happy, he had to lower his expectations!  In all my short term goals, that seems to be the most appropriate and sound advice.  It simplifies everything.  But when you think 10/20/50 years down the road, that seems so .... sad!

Expectations are the substance in life. Expectations make relationships worthwhile. Expectations fulfill you in ways you would otherwise be dissatisfied. Why then do relationships (friends, family, colleagues) get so complicated? Why do people, more often than not, feel the need to lower their expectations? Why is there a constant need for saving yourself from disappointment?

I have had my share of experiences, disappointments and heartbreaks. I have learned from them and hope to continue doing that.  It makes me a little more cautious each time and forces me to keep my guard up. At the end of the day though, I'm an emotional fool.  Heart is ALL that matters to me.  I will do anything for a person with a good heart and nothing can make me accept a person with the opposite of that.

Perhaps there is a middle ground?  Do what you feel is right, don't expect anything in return and hope for the best? People in your life are the ones that make life full.  Without people, life would be empty. Without expectations, relationships would be empty.

30. Stop being ungrateful

Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life.  Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs.  Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.


STRONGLY BELIEVE IN THIS. I am so utterly grateful for all that life has given me and continues to bring my way.  Even on the worst of days, I have a ton to be thankful for and I completely realize that there are many less fortunate in the world so I am definitely happy to have all that I have and thankful for all my blessings. 


Going through each item on the 30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself list has given me a great insight into all that I was already doing and all that I need to do to make 2012 the kinda year I want it to be : )  Now off to ACTUALLY DO IT!!!!!

29. Stop focusing on what you don't want to happen

Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen.  Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story.  If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.


+ + +  <3 <3 <3


Love this one!

28. Stop worrying so much

Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy.  One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time?  Three years?  Five years?”  If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.


Another thing that seems to be fading with age. I remember when everything used to matter so much more in life and life always seemed too dramatic and too complicated.  The best is when I talk to the hubby about any kind of worry I may have and he makes me realize how trivial everything is really.  Nothing is the end of the world, everything works out : )  The only thing in life that made me wish I was a boy.

27. Stop trying to be everything to everyone

Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out.  But making one person smile CAN change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  So narrow your focus.


Ok, Will do : )  I have been pulled in many directions lately and found myself always short on time.  Had to prioritize and cut down in order to make everything fit my schedule.  So, I agree, can't do everything everywhere for everyone. 

26. Stop blaming others for your troubles

Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.


Each person is responsible for their own life and choices and paths and results.  You are to blame and you are to be applauded for what your life is made of. I definitely take responsibility for all that is ME!

25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn't

Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while.  You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well.  You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears.  The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.


I have a somewhat transparent face. My emotions completely show through, sad/happy/mad, whatever I'm feeling is easy to see from my expressions.  Generally, its quite difficult for me to pretend like everything is ok, if its not.  I do however tend to not ask for help when needed and take everything upon myself till its too much too handle.  These days I seem to cry easily, tears are not hard for me to shed, lol so at least I can get over things quicker : ) 

24. Stop following the path of least resistance

Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile.  Don’t take the easy way out.  Do something extraordinary.


Need to, want to, must do something extraordinary this year! I don't care what it is, just have to accomplish something significant ; )

23. Stop trying to make things perfect

Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done. 


Well, this one I can ace easily.  Not a perfectionist at all.  I'm laid back and more focused on the journey than the results : ) 

22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments

Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things.  The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.


Ah, so true and how I've learned to cherish life's little things in the past few years.  Sometimes life is so hectic and time is flying by so fast that its easy to overlook the things that matter.  I'm glad that this is something motherhood has taught me.

21. Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break

Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.  Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.


It has always been hard for me to take a break.  I get too wrapped up in the flow of things and forget to step back and take a look at where I'm headed.  I am really going to try and do this more so I can reassess and regroup my thoughts.

20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others

Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway.  Just do what you know in your heart is right.


This is something I have learned over time.  As I've matured (somewhat) over the years and learned from the hubby, I have realized that as long as you know you're doing something for the right reasons, you don't have to explain anything to anyone else.  It only confuses things more and makes life more complicated than it needs to be.

19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level

Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.


Another thing you learn to do better with age.  People tend to affect you less and less and your own strengths tend to carry you forward more and more.

18. Stop holding grudges

Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart.  You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate.  Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.”  It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”  Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself!  And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too.  If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.


I know this is true but it is SO HARD TO DO.  I can forgive people to a certain extent but it is definitely hard for me to forget things.  I'm going to have to try to work very hard on that one. 

17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself

Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you.  You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough.  But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past.  You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation.  So smile!  Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.


I love this one and strongly believe it to be true.  It is one of my biggest pet peeve's when people feel sorry for themselves. I also truly believe everything happens for the best and although the reason maybe unknown to us in the moment, life has a mysterious way of working itself out.

16. Stop being jealous of others

Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.  Ask yourself this:  “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”


Envy in my opinion is one of the worst traits in a person. That is one trait I'm extremely happy to find a lack of in myself : )  I wouldn't want people to be jealous of what I have, I would hope that those near and dear to me would be happy for me.  

15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else

Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others doing better than you.  Concentrate on beating your own records every day.  Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.


I LOVE THIS ONE because in my opinion it is very true.  You can only do your best and trying for that is the only thing that can lead you to your best success.  Good or bad, I'm not a competitive person at all. I don't care what someone has, I only want what my heart desires based on what I need & want, never based on what someone else has. I'm genuinely happy for my family and friends that do well. I think surrounding yourself with happy, driven and successful people influences you in a positive way but only if you take it in a positive way. 

14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work

Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet.  Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you.  But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.


I'm happy to have many people in life that serve this purpose for me and I really hope to focus more on those and stay away from the others as part of my new year's resolution : )

13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons

Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely.  It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company.  There’s no need to rush.  If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.


I definitely waited for the right relationship and the right person and married him for the best of reasons.  Love does indeed come to you when you least expect and leaves you helpless when it's meant to be : )

12. Stop thinking you're not ready

Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises.  Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.


Definitely love the feeling of jumping into something head first, not knowing where it might take me or what it may lead to.  Don't think I am afraid of taking up on opportunities life has brought my way, perhaps just lazy? Or as I previously stated, I think too much about it, to the point where the benefits start to seem cloudy.  Need to jump onto the very next opportunity that comes my way, without thinking or looking or waiting too long.

11. Stop being idle

Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place.  Evaluate situations and take decisive action.  You cannot change what you refuse to confront.  Making progress involves risk.  Period!  You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.


One thing I do wish I had done more of in life is take risks.  For the most part I have chosen the safer options in life and although I have taken a few risks in life, I wish I would do more of that.  Risks have definitely led me to the more fruitful and satisfying options in life. So, hopefully, that'll be something new I'll try this year : )

10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness

Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either.  You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.


I hate to admit it but I have experienced this in life several times. Everytime I was heartbroken or hurt or unhappy, I kept trying to find happiness in others and it never worked.  Made me feel worse and made my struggles harder.  Until you can accept reality and resolve your own issues, no one else can penetrate your personal space and make life better for you.  

9. Stop trying to buy happiness

Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive.  But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.


This is SO TRUE!!!!  My happiest memories are ones that required no money.  I do think money makes life easier but happiness really does come from the simplest pleasures in life.  Nothing makes me happier than time at the park with my lil girl or walks on moonlit nights around the DC monuments with the hubby or endless hours of nonstop chatter with my mom & sis.  All things that are absolutely free but give me the UTMOST satisfaction.  Can't say I haven't tried to buy happiness at times but life has reminded me over and over again that the best things in life are indeed FREE!!!

8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes

Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us.  We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past.  But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.  Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.


This is something I strongly believe and feel that I am what I am today because its meant to be this way and because this is the chosen path for me. I don't have any regrets in life and I ALWAYS take each step in life as a learning experience. I'm happy with all that life has put me through and feel that my inner strength comes from living through these experiences. 

7. Stop being scared to make a mistake

Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.  Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success.  You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.


I definitely have not taken a whole lotta risks in life and I certainly feel like I need to do that more.  Some part of me is always afraid of making a mistake and affecting others close to me with those "wrong steps".  Feel like I haven't found that thing in life I "LOVE" to do (besides being a Mom).  What do I want to do?  What is my calling?  What would I LOVE to do for the rest of my life? Hope I can find some sort of hint or a pointer to help me answer these questions....

6. Stop trying to hold onto the past

Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.


I have to say, its very hard for me to let things go. I can forgive very easily but its very difficult for me to forget.  I definitely feel like I would feel so much lighter if I could do this.  Its easier said than done but I have to try and forget more if I'm going to make room for newer things in life.  Holding on to the past certainly makes it very hard to move on to your future. 

5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not

Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else.  Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you.  Don’t change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.


This is a tricky one. As a person, I am definitely who I want to be, no pretenses and no facades.  Have never wanted to be anyone else nor wished for anyone else's life. I really do LML (Love My Life), all of it, the good and the bad equally.  As far as the keeping up with the Joneses thing goes, its hard not to want to do better in life.  For the most part however, my goals in life always come from what I want to achieve in life and not from what everyone else is achieving.  Doesn't mean that I don't take inspiration from others in life.  Always good to see people do good in life and I am happy to see my friends and family do well.  It inspires me to keep going and reaching for bigger and better things in life : )

4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner

Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.  Yes, help others; but help yourself too.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.


This I feel I am somewhat guilty of.  Everything else always seems to take precedence over my own goals and I definitely need to do a better job at that this year.  Hence the decrease in social activities : ) Going to make atleast 3 things about myself a priority this year: Gym time, Quality time w the hubby & Creative time so my brain doesn't turn into mush! 

3. Stop lying to yourself

Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself.  Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves. 


Another thing I'm quite sure I do majority of the time. Can't think of instances where I may have lied to myself about the reality of a situation or person or thing.  If I'm ever going to improve anything about myself, I have to be honest and real about it.

2. Stop running from your problems

Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on.  No, it won’t be easy.  There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them.  We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems.  That’s not how we’re made.  In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall.  Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time.  This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.


This is something I'm proud to say I have honestly done most of my life for most of my problems.  In fact its quite hard for me to run away from my problems because until I resolve things, they haunt me constantly.  Life has definitely given me opportunities to deal with every sort of problem, lol, and I have survived it all : )  As they say, if didn't break you, it only made you stronger!!!!

1. Stop spending time with the wrong people

"Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends."


This is soooo important.  You are who you surround yourself with and I have severely realized the importance of this in the past few months.  This world is full of dramatic, angry, selfish, self-centered, pessimistic people.  At times whether its out of pity or wanting to help them, I find myself trying to bring them to the other side but quickly realize that its hard to change a person.  Instead I end up stuck between them and the negative energy, not a place anyone needs to be.  So, Goodbye drama! Goodbye negativity! Goodbye wrong people!!!!  


I recently read somewhere that if people spent less time finding faults in others and more time fixing their own flaws, the world would be a much better place.  So I'd like to spend more time on making sure I do the right things and becoming a better person and fixing my own flaws : )

New Year .... New Outlook ... New Resolutions : )

Another year over! I am truly amazed at how fast time is passing.  I thought life is supposed to slow down as you get older?  In my case it feels like each year is quicker than the last. Hope everyone had a great start to the new year.  My first day of the year turned out to be slightly different that I would've liked but hopefully that won't be an indication of what to expect the rest of this year.  There is so much to look forward to and so much to be afraid of this year : )  Keep trying to mentally prepare myself for all that is coming my way. Wish me luck coz I could reeeeeally use it.

Every year, like most people, I make resolutions and every year, like most people, I fail to reach them :( Fitness, Family, Finance, Fun ... all the same stuff ... never the expected result.  This year I'm going to try something different.  My only but important resolution this year is to cut down on the endless socialization.  Too many people, too many obligations, too much wastage of time.  I'm going to try to make this year about quality over quantity in every aspect of life.

Came across an interesting article that completely inspired me and I'm going to let it help me in reaching my only resolution. 30 Things to Stop doing to yourself:  http://www.marcandangel.com/2011/12/11/30-things-to-stop-doing-to-yourself/  Over the next month, I'll try and go through each point and see how I can adapt that in my life. Soooo, WISH ME LUCK!!!!!