Thursday, October 12, 2006

Much Resistance for Long Distance

As someone who has experienced being in one, I often wonder how long distance relationships are expected to work. Its hard enough making a relationship work when you are in the same city, why would you wanna put yourself through the tortures of a long distance one? I can see some benefits of being long distance: more independence, not enough time to get bored of each other, you can keep your own life without sacrificing and compromising everything that makes you YOU. But if you think all these are great factors, should you really even be in a relationship coz no person ready for a real relationship would ever want any of these things.

Then what draws people to get into long distance relns?? Of course all of us get bored of the "local" crowd and once we're done sifting thru the local stock, its only natural that we find greener pastures in farther spaces. And its cool if you're just trying to take things easy and go with the flow and enjoy some extraordinary person's company that just happens to live in another city. What gets me is when people try to start serious long distance relationships. Its one thing if the person you're in a serious relationship with moves away. I can see how you might wanna not give up something good due to circumstances once you've already involved yourself in a serious relationship. But why oh why would you wanna set yourself up for a weekly rollercoaster, a huge increment in your skymiles, a high rise in your phone bills, a constant on-the-go life which is to be maintained in both cities and a mountain of insecurities that is sure to be much more burdensome than the insecurities of a local relationship.

-- Bulbuli

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Lost in Space


How often do you girls go through the "contemplation phase" where you analyze everything and anything about your life. Work, relationships, success, friendships, surroundings, goals, fitness, health, families ... pretty much anything that comes to your mind in the moment. Despite the hectic life and schedules ahead of me, I find myself searching for the answer to the question of the moment. I personally am highly content (always) with everything I have whether it be Relationships, Finances or Success, I feel like I am where I am at any point is by choice so usually there isn't a reason for dissatisfaction. Then why all the questions??? Why the contemplation???

--Bulbuli =)

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Why buy the Pig???

I thought this was absolutely HILARIOUS:

"For all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?', here's an update for you: 'Its not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage.'"

HAHHAHHAHHAHA ... My first time hearing that. Pretty funny!!!

--Bulbuli =)

Soulmates

Its so great to hear about people in "love", when they meet their "soulmates", when they find the "one". You just know they're going to live happily ever after and have the perfect family and be perfectly content with their lives forever and forever .. I mean they're with their soulmates after all.

Whats even more amazing is when people have only dated for a few months and they seem to just KNOW that this person is the one for them. How do you know, so quickly, that this one person that you've known for ohhh some 3-4 months is the one for you? Its crazy to me when people start off their relationship knowing they're the ones, even get married after dating for a few months and realize less than a year down the road they weren't exactly on the same wavelength. Can you imagine the humiliation when you have to face your friends & family, the ones that had tried to convince you to take your time and not rush into things, and tell them that you will no longer be with this person that you had so certainly bragged about being your soulmate? That the one for you few months later became so NOT the one for you!


I have the most wonderful guy in the world. He is utterly caring, incredibly loving, soooo much fun to be with and I love spending every moment with him. Its not like we don't disagree or argue or fight but we love each other to death and always work through everything. He is the closest thing to a soulmate that I have ever known in my entire life and i definitely want him to be the "ONE" for me but I don't know that I could've gone around saying he's my soulmate the third month we were dating. Years later today, I feel like he's my bestest friend in the world and I love him like I have never loved anyone before but I think it would be years before I could truly realize that we're Soulmates. I can't imagine anyone else in my life but him but I think we would've truly earned the right to say we're the ONE for each other after we've proved each other through the toughest of times and stuck it out through thick and think and when he still loves me the same after I'm 8 1/2 months pregnant and when my monthly PMS is still bearable to him 10 years down the road and my food is still the best in the world and when our love grows more and more over the next 80 years.

--Bulbuli =)

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Agree to Disagree

I never did understand the whole concept of Agreeing to disagree. In theory it makes sense. You can't make everyone else think the way you do so at times when both parties feel that they're right but happen to be on opposite ends of an arguement, well .. you have no choice but to agree to disagree in order to move on. How often does this work though? Especially when it comes to relationships. For me, even if I do agree to end an arguement by saying we're both right in our own ways, the fact that I still feel I am really right will never let me agree to the fact that the other person might also be right. I can't shake the thought off of the other person not agreeing with me. Coz in reality I still know that they disagree and have not understood my point. This is especially bothersome to me when it comes to my close friends or my boyfriend coz when we can't see eye-to-eye on something and we agree to disagree, in my mind, I still know that the other person is thinking I'm wrong and that their opinion is quite opposite of mine. How can 2 opposite viewpoints both be right?

--Bulbuli =)

Elevator Invaders

Is it just me or is it really annoying when someone sticks their hand or foot in the middle of a closing elevator door to hop on board at the very last second?? I mean it isn't bad enough that you had to wait 5 minutes for the elevator yourself to finally get in with 10 other sweaty, icky people. Then you press your floor's button only to see 6 other buttons below yours light up. You've barely come to terms with the fact that it'll take you 5 extra minutes to get to your floor when the Elevator Invader attacks. As the doors are about to shut close, they stick their hands in to pry it open, walk into an overly crowded elevator and press yet another button for a floor below you. Does anyone else find this as annoying or am I just PMSing??? There's gotta be a book on Elevator Etiquette somewhere that clearly forbids this kinda behavior!!

--Bulbuli =)

Friday, July 07, 2006

Tis the season ...

Ok .. I am pretty sure I'm not the only one that has a Gazillion Weddings to attend this year. I'll be on my fifth one this weekend and wedding season is nowhere near its end. Ever think about how much money and effort goes into planning these things?? And all for what?? A very dejaVuish experience. Honestly, how many weddings have you been to that you can truly say were "different". It all seems the same to me. The usual Sangeet night .. where these days Gujju's have started doing Bhangra and Punju's have started doing Raas. The usual wedding ceremony ... enormous and expensive mandaps with atleast 3 hours of a ceremony that no one really pays attention to but people spend months planning. The usual reception ... big, grand hotel ballrooms with elaborate decorations, loads of punjabi food and the ultra cool DJ that keeps you dancing to Desi tunes all night long ... well mostly till about midnight. Not to mention hundreds of guests .. most of them that neither the Bride nor the Groom knows.

Don't get me wrong .. I love weddings, especially coz I love dressing up. I hardly get to wear my Desi Gear so any chance that I do get, I'm all enthusiatic about deckin out. But how can you justify spending tens of thousands of dollars on weddings that really are more pain than gain, atleast from my perspective. I've seen the Desi Bridezillas. They spend MONTHS planning their big day .. hair, makeup, outfits, jewelery, mehndi, weightloss ... the list really is endless. I can only imagine how happy and excited they must be coz it really is the biggest day of their lives. The families spend years saving up for this day, and these days pray to God each day that their daughter will get married and not turn into a spinster. The groom who took forever to get ready for the big plunge to begin with and is now completely unprepared for all the chaos and drama that comes his way with the wedding planning. I rarely ever see Grooms as involved in wedding planning as the rest of the family. Why is that?? Anyway, I digress. So years of courtship (or atleast hopefully years of courtship) months of planning, tons of money and another cloned wedding ... really worth it all?? I wouldnt' know, I'm not married but I do know that for my weddding I want a "different" experience for myself and my guests ... guests that i WILL know ... events that WILL not be cloned ... memories that I WILL remember for a lifetime and never regret in retrospect.

WILL it really happen??? As always, I'm probably looking for something I am highly unlikely to attain but one can dream .. can't they? ; )

--Bulbuli =)

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Quotes to Live By

So, I love.. love.. looooveeee.. googling and browsing wikipedia and reading pseudo-accurate info about anything and everything. So I was reading about something or the other and somehow stumbled upon the life and times of Zsa-Zsa gabor. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zsa_Zsa_Gabor
The biography was mildly interesting, but the quotes were infinitely amusing and Im posting them here. This one goes out to all my girls....


"To be loved is a strength. To love is a weakness."

"A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished."

"I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back."

When asked how many husbands she'd had, Zsa Zsa replied: "You mean, other than my own?"

"To a smart girl men are no problem - they're the answer."

"Macho does not prove mucho."

"Husbands are like fires. They go out if unattended."

"I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house."

"Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do."

"Conrad Hilton was very generous to me in the divorce settlement. He gave me 5,000 Gideon Bibles."

"A girl must marry for love, and keep on marrying until she finds it."

Monday, April 17, 2006

Boyfriends are fattening.

I'm sure most of you have noticed that people in relationships tend to loose track of their appearances. They pay less attention to the way they dress, barely ever work out and rarely care about the way they look. I have a friend who recently went through a breakup and started working out 5 times a week to get over the painful aftermath. It actually made her look 10 times better somehow. Not only did she look great coz she had lost weight and shaped up nicely, but she seemed more confident which also added to her appeal. I never even noticed how attractive she was until post breakup. I'm sure her ex-boyfriend's drooooooling all over her now which got me thinking, why is it that people let things get to that point before they start doing something about it? I mean these days, its hard enough making a relationship work in general. With divorce rates higher than ever, even marriage doesn't ensure an eternal bond. Don't you think people should put more of an effort while IN a relationship to make sure you don't loose the interest of this amazing person you have taken years to find and bond with?

For me personally, its extremely important that my boyfriend find me super attractive. I love dressing up for him, looking good so he can compliment me all night long, putting that effort in so he can appreciate what he's got. Given that most men have wandering eyes regardless of what you do but I still feel its important to put that effort in making him LOVE the way I look so there's less of a chance of him looking elsewhere. I think its so important that people not take each other for granted.I think that is the beginning of the demise of any relationship. Attraction is what brings people together and I think it plays a crucial role in keeping them together long term. OF COURSE everything else has got to be right. LOVE is even more important and eventually the main reason you stay with someone but I think these days, the self-centered world that we're in mandates every bit of effort you can put in to make your relationship STRONG and LAST LONG.


--Bulbuli =)

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

DVR!!!!


I LOVE WATCHING TV. It has always been one of my favorite things to do. I could literally watch TV 48 hrs in a row if I just had an abundance of snacks & drinks.

For the longest time I had stopped watching as much, especially shows that required me to watch regularly at specific times and specific days. As life progressed, schedules got busier and time was moving at the speed of light for me. Maybe I had just gotten slower with age or I had just found more things to do making it RARE for me to be home in the evenings to be able to watch my favorite shows. Whatever the case, I had lost touch with the most popular shows. I couldn't understand the big hoopla about The OC or why everyone was crazy about the Desperate Housewives.


6 months ago I joined the rest of the nation and got a DVR (some of u might know it as TIVO). I can't believe I didn't do this earlier. I NEVER HAVE TO MISS A SHOW AGAIN (except for when I forget to record it or am past my allotted storage space). OC to SoBe, Gilmore Girls to Desperate Housewives, Project Runway to Top Chef, Deal or No Deal to The Apprentice, Family Guy to Simpsons, movies, game shows, primetime ... its all at my fingertips and it takes me almost half (ok maybe 3/4's) the time to watch them since I can FF through all the ad's.
I would recommend that everyone in this WORLD get a DVR!!! The is a must have accessory for everyone!!!!!


--Bulbuli =)

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Compliment or CC???


I am THE WORST at recieving compliments. For the most part I feel like people just say things for the sake of saying them without really meaning most of it. Just like I can't be fake, I can't sing untrue praises. When I tell someone something, I really mean it ... well ... maybe not to the extent my words might imply but there's always truth to my laudation. But do most people do that???

When I'd get off stage after my bollywood dance performances and people would tell me how mine was THE BEST act or I was THE BEST dancer, I couldn't help but feel elated for the longest time. One day I overheard someone using the same words they had used to describe my performance for another girl. Now this wouldn't have been as hurtful had I not seen this girl's dance and noticed how terribly choreographed & performed her act was. I'm not claiming to be the best dancer on earth, nor am I saying that I am an expert in any way but if hers was THE BEST DANCE then was mine even better than THE BEST or was mine just as BAD? I'd rather not even think about it but at this point it was clear to me that all this adulation was not to be taken too seriously.

As most girls, I've experienced the relentless flattery from guys trying to "talk" to me. You are SO BEAUTIFUL, you are the HOTTEST girl I ever met, you have the SEXIEST body in the world, you are the FUNNEST person to hang out with, etc. I all sounds so sweet and flattering. I mean what girl doesn't want to be admired ... to be put on a pedastal ... to be glorified publicly. But when you see the same guy use the same lines on your friend the next time or maybe even the same night, you can't help but become immune to such blandishments.

This is not to say that I should ignore all compliments and be cynical about people's words. This is just to prevent myself from letting my ego inflate beyond capacity, and to take another look at the value these compliments hold in my self-assessment. Basically just so hopefully I can stay grounded and keep my ego in check ; )

--Bulbuli =)

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Fakin' It


I am a very straight-forward person. WYSIWYG. What You See Is What You Get!!! I understand the concept behind diplomacy and burning bridges but I feel that there is a line you MUST NOT cross or allow others to cross when it comes to social interactions and being "politely fake". If you try to battle out every issue you have with every person in your life, you'd live a very short and miserable life. Short coz you'd die earlier from all the arguements, stress and tension. But shouldn't there be some truth to your relationships with everyone around you? Is it that bad to express how you might feel about your friend's or family's words or actions?

NOT speaking your mind ALL THE TIME is a GREAT idea and I have learned that over the years. With age comes maturity (yes .. i'm a bit more mature now). Not EVERYTHING must be said and often times you think you know what you're saying and you think you mean to say what you're saying but more likely than not your emotions get the best of you and you end up saying things you regret later. So I guess I'm saying, its good to hold back sometimes.

What I don't get is how people ignore issues that bother them and act like best of friends or closest of families and pretend like everything's perfect? I can NEVER do that. I wish I could, especially when I really just don't care about the other person enough and would rather not show my emotions. Instead, it shows through me as clearly as anything through glass. Whether i'm mad or sad ... I can't be "normal" with the other person until my emotions are taken care of. So often, I end up being confrontational or confronted coz the other person knows CLEARLY that something is amiss. For me personally, I'd rather just Talk things out, Deal with the issue at hand, Let the other person know how I feel and Resolve things or Agree to Disagree.

I know that all sounds GREAT and it usually works out well too EXCEPT if you have to Agree to Disagree coz in that case not only has the issue NOT been resolved, things are out in the open and thoughts that you don't agree with have been shared. It just leaves both parties frustrated and the issue unresolved. I'd still rather be somewhat real than completely fake. Wouldn't you?

--Bulbuli =)

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

What is Compromise?


Chatting with a friend about her relationship today got me thinking about something that all of us have or will ponder upon at some point in our lives. Whether its someone who's dating, or in a serious relationship, engaged, or married .... we know that attraction is usually what brings 2 people together .. but what is it that keeps them together?

It is often said there are 4 important elements that act as glue in a relationship and help keep it happy & healthy: Love, Respect, Trust & Compromise. The first 3 are pretty self explanatory but one that I find hard to define is Compromise. What is compromise? Who is supposed to compromise? When are you supposed to compromise? What are the rules of compromise? What are the limits to compromising? Is it absolutely necessary to compromise?

I think compromise is when u accustom yourself to the other person's mess, (obviously the piles of your clothes lying around is not "mess", its your "stuff") and despite their mess you find your way to the bathroom, in the dark, dodging all their clothes/shoes/accessories/papers on the floor. Its when you listen to hip-hop even if its techno you prefer. Its when you eat Chinese even though its Thai you are craving. Its when you go get trashed even though it was a quiet night in you were looking forward to. Its when you become friends with people you had sworn never to hang out with. Its when you hold you anger in upon your partner's remarks that supersede your comments made in front of your friends & family.

The older you get, the harder it becomes to compromise. My mom always says, "Girls should be married off earlier because the older they get, the more stubborn they get". That is the case for boys as well, the only difference being that usually girls are the ones expected to compromise. It really is very hard for 2 mature adults to compromise, especially when they are used to doing things a certain way for 20-30 years. This is one thing I see many people struggle with in relationships. In today's world where everyone is really just looking out for themselves, compromise is one element that has become harder to balance in relationships.

In my opinion, compromise is about letting go of things in a relationship that you wouldn't let go of if u were single. Its about doing things you may not want to do but would mean a lot to the person you are with . Its about molding your life so it can blend better with ur significant other's. Its about changing your ways so you can adapt to ways that are not your own but would make the other person happy. Its about not worrying about the end result but doing your best to accomodate your partner.


I think if each person does their best to make the other happy in a relatioship, compromise would automatically happen.

..... if only this was as easy to do as it is to say :-/


--Bulbuli =)

How well do u know men?

I took a quiz about men today and thought it was pretty funny. Here's what my results were (and yes ... I laughed too but hopefully there's some truth to this)

"You Have Your PhD in Men!!! You understand men almost better than anyone.You accept that guys are very different, and you read signals well.Work what you know about men, and your relationships will be blissful."

Well I'm certainly glad I was able to get some kinda PhD in this lifetime. If you're curious to find out
How Well You Understand Men, click on the link to take the quiz!!!

Feel free to share ur results if u'd like ; )

--Bulbuli =)

Friday, March 03, 2006

WE BE CLUBBIN ..... STILL!!!!


Recently i've received a few emails about people's notions of what clubbing means to most desis. How every clubbing expereince is about getting wasted so u can deal w/ old drama and start new ones, about guys chasing after girls that would never give them a shot and girls running after guys that were never interested in them to begin with, about guys trying to prove their manhood by protecting their "property" (aka any girls that came with them or ones they saw first) and fighting any guy that comes even close to doing what they themselves would do to other girls in a heartbeat, about how repetitive and boring it gets but somehow no one can stop the vicious cycle. I'm sure this is an exaggerated version meant to humor people but there's gotta be some truth to the whole thing.

For me personally, clubbing has never been about that. When I was younger, I loved going clubbing coz I LOVED to dance and it was fun to dance the night away with my bf. We always went with our friends and had a great time. I didn't even drink much initially so alcohol was never really a big part of my clubbing experience until after i graduated from college and moved away from my bf to a different city and into a long distance relationship.


After that I'd go clubbing coz thats what most people seemed to wanna do and I was trying to make friends in a new city. It wasn't until I met Chulbuli that my clubbing experience took another turn. Both of us used to paint the town red, mind u this is not a big metropolitan city we're talking about. We used to live in a very suburaban area with a much more conservative lifestyle. We, however, took partying to a whole different level. We'd go out 3-4-5 days a week .. just the 2 of us. We rarely drank and yet had the BEST time ever. We were both so passionate about dancing and danced every night we were out getting unbelievable amounts of attention from guys (yes .. of course we loved it especially coz we'd never let any of the guys get close). We were the Prudes and Proud of it ; ) We created our own drama and mainly just laughed everything off coz really for us it was all about having fun and enjoying life to the fullest. And so we did. Chulbuli .. those were def some FUN YEARS we spent together.

After years and years of partying, my love and stamina for clubbing has certainly gone down and now that I don't drink at all my patience and tolerance have lowered significantly. For me it always was and is about the hours before that I spend picking an OUTFIT and GETTING READY, about meeting my FREINDS and HANGING OUT with them, about trying NEW VENUES and checking out the HOTTEST PLACES in town, about GOOD MUSIC and DANCING my ass off. I still LOVE going clubbing if the company, music and place are to my liking.


Over the years the alcohol consumption has gone up tremendously and I've definitely had some crazy nights out especially when we take our clubbing to another city or country. But overall .. its been a fun experience. The drama, the drinking, the dancing ... its all been worthwhile and something I wouldn't trade for anything.

--Bulbuli =)

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Don't be a Hater!!!!


People often thrive on female animosity. Girls just seem to NEVER get along. Guys drop everything at the slightest hint of a cat fight. Many wonder why is it that girls don't get along and I wanted to address that today.

If my bf does anything wrong related to a girl (denies contact w/ another girl he had no business contacting, lies about buying her a drink, blames her for dinners that he had with her, hooks up with her, calls one of his ex's, etc) I am the kinda person that would never blame the girl .. coz u see ... i don't really care what the girl did to cause any of it. She means nothing to me. I blame my bf .. simply because he's the one I care about and he's the one responsible to answer to me. His judgement along w/ his actions should've prevented anything that he's trying to get himself outta trouble for. What would blaming the girl ever get me? I am never going to discuss any of this with her and is it really her fault completely or even partially if my bf chooses to be/do things w/ her? So girls .. don't blame the girl ... BLAME YOUR GUY!

There's no doubt Indian girls are a great package. Brains, Beauty, Body, Style, Personality, Culture .. you name it and majority of us have majority of the goods. Some are great in some things .. others in .. well .. others. So why hate on a beautiful girl just coz she might get more attention or a successful one coz she might have more money? I consider myself to be averagely attractive. I don't have the best of bodies but its not bad. I think i'm fairly intelligent but not nerdy. I have a great job and make a decent amount of money. I love fashion and style and my culture and am a good balanced mix of the east and the west. The point I'm getting to with all this is that I don't bad mouth or demean other girls that might be more attractive or more intelligent or more fashionable or more whatever else than myself. I admire them for what they have especially if they got it themselves. I think more girls should be like that. Not every girl is your competition or enemy (some definitely are and some i really wish i never had to see but not all). So be good to other girls and instead of putting them down try to gain their positives and loose the negative attitude. Besides, being a good person in the end is good for you anyway :D
Good Karma; )


--Bulbuli =)

Thursday, February 16, 2006

How much should your wardrobe be worth?



There are 2 kinds of people in this world: Those who spend tons of money on their clothes, buy whatever they like/see & Those who shop smart, look for sales and find the best deals to fill their wardrobe. I'm part of the latter group and so is a friend of mine whose outfit I was noticing yesterday. She is required to dress business formal for work which is something I am very unfamiliar with since most of my jobs have allowed casual attire. I don't think she has ever spent over $50 on any of her clothes yet she looks like a milliion bucks. She dresses absolutely adorable, looks totally fashionable while still managing to look very professional. I thought about another friend who actually shops at all the high end stores, spends 100's of dollars and obviously dresses and looks professional, yet, I don't think I would ever notice her style or give her a second look if she was to pass me in the hallway.

Isn't it amazing how much an individual's dressing style can make even the inexpensive stuff look great? I think if my smart shopper friend had to dress from my Rich friend's closet, I have a feeling she would still manage to make herself look cute and fashionable. I absolutely admire that quality in people and so totally believe that its not about the amount of money spent but the thought and originality put into an outfit that makes it look so amazing.

Beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder .. i.e. if they can find beauty in any pieces given to them and put it together beautifully ;)