What is Compromise?

Chatting with a friend about her relationship today got me thinking about something that all of us have or will ponder upon at some point in our lives. Whether its someone who's dating, or in a serious relationship, engaged, or married .... we know that attraction is usually what brings 2 people together .. but what is it that keeps them together?

It is often said there are 4 important elements that act as glue in a relationship and help keep it happy & healthy: Love, Respect, Trust & Compromise. The first 3 are pretty self explanatory but one that I find hard to define is Compromise. What is compromise? Who is supposed to compromise? When are you supposed to compromise? What are the rules of compromise? What are the limits to compromising? Is it absolutely necessary to compromise?

I think compromise is when u accustom yourself to the other person's mess, (obviously the piles of your clothes lying around is not "mess", its your "stuff") and despite their mess you find your way to the bathroom, in the dark, dodging all their clothes/shoes/accessories/papers on the floor. Its when you listen to hip-hop even if its techno you prefer. Its when you eat Chinese even though its Thai you are craving. Its when you go get trashed even though it was a quiet night in you were looking forward to. Its when you become friends with people you had sworn never to hang out with. Its when you hold you anger in upon your partner's remarks that supersede your comments made in front of your friends & family.

The older you get, the harder it becomes to compromise. My mom always says, "Girls should be married off earlier because the older they get, the more stubborn they get". That is the case for boys as well, the only difference being that usually girls are the ones expected to compromise. It really is very hard for 2 mature adults to compromise, especially when they are used to doing things a certain way for 20-30 years. This is one thing I see many people struggle with in relationships. In today's world where everyone is really just looking out for themselves, compromise is one element that has become harder to balance in relationships.

In my opinion, compromise is about letting go of things in a relationship that you wouldn't let go of if u were single. Its about doing things you may not want to do but would mean a lot to the person you are with . Its about molding your life so it can blend better with ur significant other's. Its about changing your ways so you can adapt to ways that are not your own but would make the other person happy. Its about not worrying about the end result but doing your best to accomodate your partner.

I think if each person does their best to make the other happy in a relatioship, compromise would automatically happen.

..... if only this was as easy to do as it is to say :-/

--Bulbuli =)